Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Comfortably Uncomfortable


We've almost reached the end of January...can you believe it?
How are you all doing?

I have reached a comfortable uncomfortable... Let me explain.

I started kickboxing last week. I can honestly say that it was LOVE at first sight. I have always wanted to join a kickboxing club and I am so grateful to my friend Melanie R. who invited me to join her! It is explosive! It is physical! It is painful! In my previous life, sports was my passion and in a weird sort of way I feel like I have come home. Back to a part of me that has been sitting dormant for years. So excited to feel this excited about a sport again. I am also loving my NEW boxing gloves. Lets call them my beginners' pair for now.

So friends, where am I going with this?

Well, remember I told you about my friend Anne who was editing my stories for my book? It is proving to be more difficult then I anticipated. Going back to these stories reading and re-reading, tweaking and going there again... I know this is part of the process if I want them to be publishing worthy... But, it is hard and it is painful. Getting my words out onto the page was one thing, going back for more is a whole other story.

My teaching gig is also proving to be comfortably uncomfortable... It is one thing to sit here and type these words, another thing to express my heart and soul through my paintings and my written stories... It's a whole other thing to bring it class after class, to be real, to give, to show vulnerability and honesty while real people, intelligent people are sitting and listening to you "teach".

What I am learning about myself is that I am going through an uncomfortable growth period. The kind where your muscles are sore from working out hard and from giving it all you have. The kind where you know it's working because you are sore...for days. I know that having Anne as part of the process right now is necessary for me to get to the next level. I have gone as far as I can on my own. And as painful as it is, I need her to push me.

I know that having my students in my life right now is also helping me to stretch as a person. Sometimes you can think and talk all you want, but it is only through opening yourself up to new opportunities and exchanging stories, lessons and truths with others that you truly grow.

I am sore. My muscles ache. I am facing each day with a deep breath and a new fortitude. Sometimes we can only go so far on our own. Sometimes we need to let someone else in and embrace our vulnerability to move forward. This is where I am. I am here. Accepting my new comfortable uncomfortable. I am here trying hard and trusting that the growing pains will be worth it. I am hoping like hell that this part will get easier.

5 comments:

  1. Dam girl! its like a spiritual triathalon and you are so in the race. i am so inspired by you. i too am reaching...more comin to the blog.

    but you know its just crazy when you ask for something and then you're in the midst of it and its like "am i really doing this?" but on the other hand you know its exactly what you have to do and it proves so much about who you are...then you realize you are more than u even imagined. Beautiful. <3

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  2. Oh my goodness, I so hear you right now with the comfortable uncomfortable feeling. Love you have taken up kickboxing! I'm out with a bad back for now, but looking forward to getting back soon. I can understand it must be really hard to revisit your stories.. this is such an amazing time for you Danielle, it's going to be even more amazing because of some of the challenges you are overcoming too. xxx

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  3. you are smack in the middle of someplace wonderful right now. Those places, the ones where we're comfortably uncomfortable, are some of the most powerful, I think. And this - "Sometimes you can think and talk all you want, but it is only through opening yourself up to new opportunities and exchanging stories, lessons and truths with others that you truly grow." is brilliant.

    I had a brief love affair with kickboxing years ago...I felt so powerful. Now I get that powerful feeling from yoga, but reading this makes me want to strap on a pair of gloves ;) I'm here holding space for you. xo

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  4. Growing pains, ouch - painful but necessary. Great to have an outlet like kickboxing. You'll get there lovelyXx

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  5. You don't really need anyone to tell you that it will be worth it. I know you know this to be true. But I'll tell you anyway. Of course it will be worth it. Every bit of it.

    I love what you said about reaching a point where we need to let someone else in and embrace our vulnerability. I so get it. I've just taken up personal training recently. It's hard and confronting, it hurts like hell, and I absolutely love it.

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Thank-you for your words. I tuck them inside my heart pocket. xo