We've almost reached the end of January...can you believe it?
How are you all doing?
How are you all doing?
I have reached a comfortable uncomfortable... Let me explain.
I started kickboxing last week. I can honestly say that it was LOVE at first sight. I have always wanted to join a kickboxing club and I am so grateful to my friend Melanie R. who invited me to join her! It is explosive! It is physical! It is painful! In my previous life, sports was my passion and in a weird sort of way I feel like I have come home. Back to a part of me that has been sitting dormant for years. So excited to feel this excited about a sport again. I am also loving my NEW boxing gloves. Lets call them my beginners' pair for now.
So friends, where am I going with this?
Well, remember I told you about my friend Anne who was editing my stories for my book? It is proving to be more difficult then I anticipated. Going back to these stories reading and re-reading, tweaking and going there again... I know this is part of the process if I want them to be publishing worthy... But, it is hard and it is painful. Getting my words out onto the page was one thing, going back for more is a whole other story.
My teaching gig is also proving to be comfortably uncomfortable... It is one thing to sit here and type these words, another thing to express my heart and soul through my paintings and my written stories... It's a whole other thing to bring it class after class, to be real, to give, to show vulnerability and honesty while real people, intelligent people are sitting and listening to you "teach".
What I am learning about myself is that I am going through an uncomfortable growth period. The kind where your muscles are sore from working out hard and from giving it all you have. The kind where you know it's working because you are sore...for days. I know that having Anne as part of the process right now is necessary for me to get to the next level. I have gone as far as I can on my own. And as painful as it is, I need her to push me.
I know that having my students in my life right now is also helping me to stretch as a person. Sometimes you can think and talk all you want, but it is only through opening yourself up to new opportunities and exchanging stories, lessons and truths with others that you truly grow.
I am sore. My muscles ache. I am facing each day with a deep breath and a new fortitude. Sometimes we can only go so far on our own. Sometimes we need to let someone else in and embrace our vulnerability to move forward. This is where I am. I am here. Accepting my new comfortable uncomfortable. I am here trying hard and trusting that the growing pains will be worth it. I am hoping like hell that this part will get easier.