If you are wondering where I have been this week....I've been here...
We have been clearing out our basement in the biggest way...going through each and every single box including the ones that have not been opened since 2005. It has been a draining week, coupled with my writing and my painful kickboxing regime...I am wiped out.
I found these... I had looked for them before. They were hiding, waiting perhaps for the right time to show themselves... These are the letters Steve wrote to me while he was away, spanning two tours overseas. There are more believe it or not. There is another box with the letters and cards I sent him. Two wild kids so in love... one in love with a man who happened to be in the military, the other a military man who happened to be married...
I hold my breath as I open each one... It brings me back to places I do not want to be. It also reminds me of the fierce LOVE I have always had for him. Some of them are deeply embarrassing... showcasing our immaturity and youth... Others shine the light on our truth and character, displaying our brave honesty and naive love.
Oh, email and facebook...I am so happy you weren't around then... (I almost regret you being around for the last two tours). I wouldn't have these breathing words in my hands that bring me back to such a vulnerable, painful and loving place. I wouldn't be able to see just how much the years have created a cage around my heart.
I am so grateful for these pieces of paper with our handwritten words. Proof of our commitment, our fears, our longings, and most of all our love. Reading these letters reminds me just how much we both have grown. Yet, how underneath the layers of loss and heartbreak lies pure and innocent flawless LOVE.
"Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe