I have been thinking alot since yesterday's post. So much so, that I already have so much to say and wanted to write a post as a way to organize and formalize my thoughts.
I am new to this world of blogging and yet it feels so natural here. I feel I have created an environment where I can let my true essence shine through and I have connected with so many of you, amazing heart-generous people. There is no doubt you have enriched my very existence and I am whole-heartedly grateful for these connections.
The truth is, I feel so bombarded as of late. I have actually been feeling like this since Christmas and thought about disconnecting then, from the cyber world, for a while. But I remained and persevered. However, this little voice inside my heart can longer be ignored. It yearns to be heard and to be explored.
I understand what I plan on doing might sound like social suicide, bad for business, what is she thinking, I would never do that...
But the truth is, these reasons only help to reinforce why I need to take a break from this world for a while. The thing is, so many of us artists want to be taken seriously as artists, but we neglect the very thing inside of us that makes us who we are. I have become so preoccupied with what is "out there", trying to keep up with everyone else's artistic journey that I have silenced the most sincere part about me... my inner voice, my quest for truth and the way I portray this truth throughout my work. It has been shouting for me to walk away, to take it all in, to face the path, to question the direction and the "opportunities", to follow through on past dreams, to be more present, to stop filling my days with "liking" stuff on facebook and to truly just LOVE the things that are right in front of me within my heart and my soul. For me, it's not about marketing the crap out of my stuff, it's about people connecting with the honesty of my work and the sincerity of my creative expression.
If you read this blog you know how much this community means to me. You know how primal this connection has been for me. Yet, I still feel the need to pause, to breathe, to stretch my body and mind and go within. I have decided that June 30th will be my last post until September. I might pop in, but I might not. I will go with the flow. I will also be temporarily closing my facebook account. My ETSY shop WILL remain OPEN, and I will continue to list new works periodically. You will still be able to contact me through email. I will not be on a deserted island.
My ego says, don't do it. They will forget about you. No one will care when you get back. They will have moved on. You worked SO hard to get here, why do this? My inner critic says, no one will care either way, get over yourself. My heart says, BRAVO. Bravo for listening to your inner self. Bravo for daring to run your own race. Bravo for honoring who you are. This is what matters.
I got a tattoo a few months ago. I'm finally ready to share it. It's on my fore arm. Here it is:
Thank-you for your comments, for your feedback, for your time
and your big beautiful hearts.