Tuesday, September 13, 2011

On Being OK and Then Some...

I've been thinking alot lately about the big big picture.  It actually kept me up last night.  It's funny how you think your life will be a certain way and then it turns out to be nothing like you planned but in the end you are still OK., even better than OK.

Ten years ago, I was a new-ish teacher.  I thought I would teach for about six years and then cross over to become a principal.  I even thought I would run for mayor.  I was not a mother yet, but I thought for sure I would have a daughter first and then maybe two boys.  Steve was in the military and I thought we would be posted to Trenton and we would finish off the army years there.  This is what I envisioned.  This is what I thought my life would look like.

Fast forward ten years and WHOOA, was I off!  I'm no longer teaching.  I paint.  I'm never going to be a principal (and if I do, please believe that my body has been taken over by aliens...lol!)  I might run for mayor someday...(but probably not...I'm just way too opinionated to please the masses).  I am a mother to a beautiful 8 year old boy, he is my only one and my heart is FULL.  My husband, well, he no longer wears his uniform to work and I no longer cry myself to sleep lonely and worried that he will not make it home.  Instead I see him every morning and very night and he wears nice shirts with collars and fancy pants and shoes.  His wardrobe is actually WAY better than mine.  We live back home-in Sudbury, Ontario Canada.  Where my heart lies but my mind wanders.

Last night as I laid awake, I thought was I WAY off.  My life is NOTHING like I had envisioned it, hoped it would be.  It's better.  It's not without it's heartbreak, but I'm OK.  I'm better than OK.  So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm open.  I'm open to whatever the Universe wishes me to experience.  I can plan all I want, but in the end, I just need to pay attention and TRUST.  I know she has my back.  I know, no matter what, I'll be OK.


Wishing you a beautiful day. xox  


6 comments:

  1. thank you for touching some place very deep within this morning danielle. thank you! xoxo

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  2. Lovely insight. Your art is intense and light
    at the same time, as your words are too.

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  3. What a beautiful post! Yes, looking back on my life...I had no idea where I'd be...yet here I am and I feel like I'm in Heaven!! I am so grateful and so blessed to creating and writing and raising my family.

    Thank you for sharing today!!!! So inspiring!

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  4. Funny how things work out just the way their supposed to. :) I'm glad it didn't turn out the way you planned or we may not have ever crossed paths.♥
    Sending love to you!
    Jenny

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  5. I love this post - life is such a strange thing - it takes us on the route that it wants very often. Its only when we look back that we can see the the wisdom, that there is a greater force at work.

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  6. Love love love this post -- and your story is so like my story. I thought I would do all these things -- be a 3rd grade teacher forever, never marry, never have kids. But instead I ended up battling a crazy eating disorder that, while it was awful, changed my life for the better. I've now been married to the Best Husband Ever (for me!) for 4 years and we're expecting our first baby, and I paint and paint and paint and it's wonderful and scary and amazing. And I have to say that I'm SO glad my life didn't go as planned. Thanks for reminding me of that! :)

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Thank-you for your words. I tuck them inside my heart pocket. xo